Persnickety

Being a golfer for sixteen years now, I have met and played with many other golfers over the years, whether in my various leagues, tournaments or casual play, and can say with confidence that the personality of a golfer is unlike any other athlete I’ve ever encountered.  Golf is unique in that it is both an individual sport as well as a sport that one needs to learn how to respect, get along with and play with other individuals on the golf course.  It’s a fine line and balancing act how to play your best game, and depending on the format if a tournament, how to play in unison and sometimes for the benefit of your partner or team over your own personal performance.

Golfers are a persnickety bunch.  Typically, I play from one to four days a week, and meet all sorts of golfers.  I play in several leagues that are a mix of men and women, good and average.   More often than not, I know who my partners are and we play as twosomes or foursomes.   But you don’t always control who you are paired with.  Part of the challenge of golf is how to play your best while trying to co-exist with the player you are paired with, who may actually affect your performance.  Finer golf courses, such as Silverado in Napa or Presidio in San Francisco, enforce pace of play and force groups to play in foursomes, even if they have to pair you with complete strangers. 

Part of the problem with this practice is that golfers have very unique compositions, and placing us in forced foursomes does not a quicker round ensure.   Typically, men play from the tips, because they are stronger, can drive farther and because of this, they shoot first and have to wait longer for the group in front to move out of range before they can do so.  Females typically play from the front tees because they don’t drive as far, but because they have to be out of the way for the men behind to hit first, have to wait for the men which is a bit counterintuitive.  So right off the bat this slows pace. 

Luckily I drive 250 yards off the tee, was 2007 and 2008 Long Drive Champion in my league, so I can play from the back tees when I play with men and this enables quicker play.  But this is not the average female I am told, and so other females in the foursome may still need to drive from forward tees, slowing pace. 

Then there are personality differences.  It can be a less than fun round when you are forced to play with a bickering, rude couple or two strangers who have different temperaments, skill levels, experience on the golf course or understanding/practice of golf course etiquette.  When I play after a stressful day at the office, the last thing I want is to be paired with an asshole who is in a bad mood or wants to rain on my parade.  Golf is a great stress reliever for me and I am a bit picky who I play with.  I have a great group of male and female companions that I play with, and when I have a choice when playing in my leagues, I won’t play if it means being paired with someone who will affect my outing or mood.  I just got loose from my work noose and am in no mood to play a three to five hour round with a miserable person, especially if it will affect my handicap.  There are a small handful of players in one of my leagues that no one ever wants to be paired with.  I don’t know how people who are unpleasant, stressed out, anal, negative, moody, or intense ever chose golf for a pastime.   Racquetball or boxing would be a much better choice for them.  Golf requires a player to be relaxed, and free of tension both mentally and physically.  The game is as much mental as it is physical, and in some cases completely mental.  Having the most expensive or cutting edge equipment does not ensure you a low handicap.  Much of the game is played between the ears. 

Here are a few categories of players you want to avoid on the golf course.  I know and have played with people who really fit these categories. 

 

The Rule Nazi

This is a person who has nothing but time and spends his/her sorry life studying and memorizing the USGA Rules of Golf.   Yes, sports need to have rules, and the game of golf certainly is governed by a bible of very specific (and player-unfriendly and sometimes absurd) rules.  I play in tournament leagues and I understand the importance of following the rules when you are playing in a tournament, and for proper handicapping.  I am not suggesting to disregard USGA Rules.  However, some of the lesser known (absurd) rules can be a bit much and when we are playing a casual round, no one wants to be lectured by someone on these lesser known rules.  We are all adults, we are there for a casual round of golf that does not count.  But these anal types do exist and ruin the experience for the rest of us.  They create an unnecessary and uncomfortably tense atmosphere.
 
The Temperamental Fool
This personality really has chosen the wrong hobby.  Anyone who is tense, highly agitated or moody fits this category.  I have seen players who get very angry at themselves or their equipment and create a very tense and uncomfortable atmosphere for their fellow companions.  When clubs go flying and nearly miss someone’s head or eye, that player should be banned from the sport.  There are players with violent personalities or alcoholic dependencies (and the occasional pot smokers), and these are also people you want to avoid.  Alcohol or drugs do not help anyone’s game and having words or punching other players in the face on the course when you are sufficiently tanked or high is just so against everything the game of golf stands for.  Save it for the 19^th hole.

The Chatter

Golf is a sport that requires a ridiculous amount of concentration.  The slightest noise, gust of wind, or movement of anyone or anything when trying to hit a ball can affect a golfer mentally and physically.  Watch how flustered Tiger Woods gets when he hears a camera shutter or a spectator whispering.  The Chatter is another person you want to avoid.  This person doesn’t understand the glory of quiet when a player is doing their pre-shot routine or actually taking their shot.  This person doesn’t shut up.  Ever.  Talks and talks and talks.   This includes the people who stand within your eye sight in the tee box area and chatter and giggle, or chit chat when you are putting.  These are both golf etiquette 101 no-nos. 

Happy Medium

I have never been taught, so I am not exactly sure where I learned my golf temperament.  I am a popular companion choice in all of my leagues and casual play partners.  I strike a perfect balance of engaging in pleasant conversation at the appropriate time, and respectful silence at others.  I also blend the perfect amount of cheeriness, laughter, positive attitude, and gentle encouragement.   I am relaxed and laid back, creating a very comfortable atmosphere, but yet focused on my own game at the same time.  I have been told I provide a “zen-like atmosphere” for my companions who aren’t as confident.  It’s a flattering compliment and can be difficult when having to divide myself among different pairs who want to play with me.  It may be because I, too, was once a new golfer, and remember how I was treated when I played with more experienced players, and having been in and in charge of a beginner league at one time, I guess I have become the player who mentors and makes a comfortable atmosphere for all, even if it means having to take the role of softening or managing some of the above personality types to alter the atmosphere for players I know can’t function under those circumstances.