Glass Half Full

I don’t have much time to cook.  I dine out often.  A lot of my activities seem to involve eating before, during or after. 

While the majority of the time meal consumption takes place in a moving vehicle, occasionally it actually occurs at a stationary table located in a stationary structure, and digested like a normal human being. 

I was spared the requisite teenage occupation of working in the food service industry.  I took a much different route when I entered the workforce at 15 while attending school.   I have been a disrespected employee, and I am a seasoned customer, so I am somewhat cognizant of what an unappreciated profession this is.  I am aware of inpatient and impossible to please customers and I have vowed never to be one of these people. 

Instead, I am the complete opposite.  I tolerate situations even the average person wouldn’t.  I don’t complain when I should.  I don’t send food back if it isn’t what I ordered or not cooked to my liking.  As much patience as I demonstrate, as much tolerance as I have, I am frequently tested. 

I am not sure if it is due to lack of training, incompetence, or lack of attention.  Why is it that certain questions are asked but the responses are ignored, forgotten and generally not written down to make everyone’s lives easier?  Questions are asked and answered repeatedly and still result in an unrequested outcome. 

To me, these are minor offenses and there are much bigger problems in the world to lose your cool over.  In the grand scheme of things, it just isn’t worth allowing someone to control my emotions or my night out.  I have much bigger fish to fry. 

However, there is an expectation when you order a multi-course meal that there is a normal procession of courses.  Appetizer precedes soup.  Soup precedes salad.  Salad precedes entrée.  Side dish accompanies entrée.  Coffee comes with dessert.

But this isn’t always the case.

Sometimes the soup or salad arrives with the entree.  Sometimes the appetizer arrives with the entrée.  Sometimes everything comes all at once.  It can be quite a juggling act to consume three courses at one time, on a small circular table that can’t fit more than two dishes and two glasses at one time.  You have to stack multiple dishes on top of each other, avoid knocking glasses over with your elbow, and eat mass quantities at once while everything is hot.  This occurs even when you specifically tell your server to bring the appetizer first before firing the entrée.   

Why does the server not hold off bringing the entree to the table instead of making an insincere apology and dropping it on the table before moving on?  And sometimes if you’re lucky, the entrée comes after sitting on a counter for eight minutes getting cold.   

Some service is impeccable like a perfect waltz, and others are downright exasperating.   

My friends and I were in a Mexican restaurant after a golf tournament recently, and waited 30 minutes to be acknowledged by anyone after we had to seat ourselves, clean our own table off and secure our own menus.  The bus person ended up taking our orders, and brought us our waters.  The bartender happened to be doubling as a waiter and a chef to customers who seemed to take priority over us for reasons unknown to us. 

We never actually saw our waitress until she brought us our bill.  We made a special point to give a tip to the bus person who actually took care of us and got us out in two hours, and not to the waiter who only saw fit to acknowledge us at the time of payment.  It took an hour for me to get a tossed salad and a margarita.  I doubt this place does well in the Yelp world.  I feel bad for the people who live in that rural town who are stuck with this restaurant on a recurring basis.  We won’t ever return. 

A tip is earned “to insure prompt service”.  It is not a given and it certainly isn’t guaranteed.  Owners and managers should train their staff that they must actually do their job in order to receive payment.  I am known to give overly generous tips when the service is impeccable.     

The alternate scenario is the doting server at the ready to oblige the customer’s every whim.  This person asks how the food is before you even pick up your fork, interrupting intimate conversations, speeding up deliberately slower-paced evenings, staring at you uncomfortably waiting for you to drop your fork, require more bread, or give them any reason to do something other than look at their smartphone while on the clock.   The ultimate insult is when they remove the plate from under your chin as you are still eating from it, without asking you if you are through.  What is their hurry, is there some quota they are trying to meet, are they trying to compete with McDonald’s “Billions Served”?

Then there is the glass half full phenomena. 

Some servers come by and constantly refill your water glass whether you want it or not (currently not a problem in California, as water is no longer served as a default due to our severe drought.  Water must be requested).  As you are drowning in water, you do anything to stop the constant disruptions.  You hide your glass under a napkin, turn the glass upside down, or put the glass on the empty table next to you, anything to stop the madness.  But it is to no avail, the glass somehow still gets filled in spite of your efforts.  The glass is turned over or replaced with another.   

And the cycle repeats.

And repeats.