According to Lisa has moved to a new URL

Due to my overwhelming writing deadlines, I won't be able to blog on a regular basis anymore. Because of this, I will no longer be posting on this URL at all. Click on the below link to be taken to my author website where the future blog posts will appear. At this time, I don't have a date when the posts will start up again. I hope by fall.

You will also be able to visit my other publications through this site.

https://lmgiannone.com/blog/  

Thank you for following me here on BlogSpot. I hope you'll follow me on my new site.

Lisa

Uninvited

** This excerpt from my book No Vacancy will only be available on this site temporarily**

The problem with living in a city like San Francisco is the amount of people who suddenly want to visit you. People you barely ever saw when you lived close to them. Relatives several steps removed start coming out of the woodwork. Friends of relatives several steps removed suddenly want to meet you. You’ve never heard of them.

What I haven’t figured out yet is why it doesn’t occur to these individuals to ask me first if I will be in town, am available or have time to host them before they book their flights? Why don’t they figure me into their plans if I am the so-called reason they are coming? Wouldn’t they be disappointed to embark on an eight hour journey only to find out I’m not there?  If they wanted to see me so badly, wouldn’t they want to confirm my availability? 

 

I frequently get very little advance notice, and often my professional, social, cultural and athletic calendar is booked at least five months in advance, causing me to have to change plans, cancel advance reservations, miss out on season ticket dates, back out of golf league commitments (which impacts entire league and partners, not just me, and incurs financial penalties), pay cancellation fees, or disappoint others who were considerate of my busy schedule.

 

You see, I plan ahead. I have to. My time is limited and demand is higher than supply. If there is an event with limited tickets I am going to get mine in advance to ensure I can be there. Sometimes my own travel plans are non-refundable and they may be in town when I’m not. I have my own priorities. So right away you know there is an ulterior motive for their visit, and you can bet it isn’t to see me.

Why do these people think I have all this vacation time and why I would want to use my precious days off to entertain them? Who gets that many days off a year leftover to entertain every visitor that comes to town? They live somewhere where no one in their right mind would visit, so they don’t understand. Would they be so generous if the tables were turned? Do they not need their few days off for sick time, vacation, or kids?  Would they jeopardize their job if I came to town? Would they forego an overdue trip to a tropical locale to host me, would they give up their long-awaited chance to get away from their very stressful job and necessary decompression time for someone they hardly know? I think not.

I only get so many days off a year. In my industry, it’s very difficult to take consecutive days. Days off are few and far between and as a consultant, I’ve often had to sacrifice a contract and a paycheck in order to take very necessary decompression time, contrary to my client’s wishes. For the last sixteen months, most of my personal time and more has been wasted accommodating the inflexible and inconvenient office hours of many doctors, reporting to operating rooms, sitting in waiting rooms, appearing for countless pre-ops and post-ops, standing in line at the pharmacy, chasing billing departments to track and correct THEIR mistakes, all in addition to my own jobs and my 22 hour day that is already too full with my own responsibilities.

 My idea of a vacation is to go somewhere quiet, tropical, and relaxing, away from the troubles of home, without cell phone, internet, wi-fi, laptop, social media, or forwarding address. I don’t want to spend my vacation in my own home, surrounded by my life which doesn’t stop revolving when these visitors are in town. I happen to not be on vacation when I get visitors that I can’t take time off for. I may be required to be in last minute meetings, on conference calls, onsite at the office, available by phone, meeting deadlines, going on appointments or keeping other commitments. But yet somehow I’m expected to be available at their beck and call the entire business day. They don’t understand I can’t be an instant GPS, MapQuest or OnStar while I’m on the clock and unreachable in some cases, causing me undue stress. I would never impose on someone else’s home, life or rare day off.

When I first moved to San Francisco in 1999, I constantly had visitors. Everyone wanted to see California for the first time, and now they had someone they could visit who could put them up for a week. Luckily it slowed down the past few years. I don’t encourage visitors now and some are aware that my time’s extremely limited.  But they still come anyway.

I’m envious of people who can take time off of work without being fired, can take an actual vacation, actually go somewhere and do what they want to do.  Any time I can manage to get off involves hosting someone or spending it in my hometown. I have so many bucket list destinations I have yet to see, all of which require three weeks and more than a nine hour flight. Instead, I have to constantly be current on events happening in town, tourist sites, new restaurants, even though I’m unable to enjoy these things myself. I have become a personal tour guide and concierge service. Except I’m not compensated for my ongoing research, time or costs.

Having a large family on both sides can be both a blessing and a curse.

 

Next post: 5/13